SSE 106: INTRODUCTION
TO NIGERIAN CULTURAL ENVIRONMENT
MARRIAGE AND CONFLICT
What
is a marriage?
Marriage is a union
between a man and a woman such that the children born to the woman are
recognize as legitimate offspring of both parents (Royal Anthropological
Institute 1951). Marriage is not always between a man and a woman since it can
be between a man and many wives (polygyny) or between a woman and two or more
men (polyandry). Let’s take some example from Western Europe or America,
recently they have recognized gay marriage which is same sex therefore marriage
is no longer between a man and a woman but to a man and a man and a woman and a
woman. So in African tradition it is an abomination and we must not buy these
idea.
Marriage according to Giddens
and Dunnier (2000) it is “a socially acknowledged and approved sexual union
between two adult individual.” This type
of marriage has no legal backing or should be frowned at and even criticized;
in an African content and even morally, it is unacceptable but may be
acceptable to those who called themselves civilized nation. Furthermore the
definition has no room for polygyny and polyandry indicating that it has no
room for polygamy which is an umbrella word for the two (polygyny and
polyandry). Having felt the purse of some scholars it can be seen that there is
no uniform umbrella that defined marriage to be exactly one acceptable
definition so it varies and depends on how society views it.
Let us delve into our
Christian, Islamic, Hindu and African traditional faith concerning their views
about marriage.
The Bible Defines Marriage as
a Covenant
The marriage ceremony, therefore, is meant
to be a public demonstration of a couple's commitment to a covenant
relationship. ... For Christians, marriage goes beyond the
earthly covenant also, as a divine picture of the relationship between Christ
and his Bride, the Church (www.learnreligions.com>....> The new Testament).
The purpose of marriage in the bible
is that: It is the union between Christ and his people, as one flesh. Such
companionship and intimacy is a profound gift to be marveled at and enjoyed,
bringing contentment and happiness. And in so enjoying, we bring glory to
him—the creator of perhaps the greatest gift ever.
In
Etymology the word "marriage" derives from
Middle English marriage, which first appears in 1250–1300 CE. This, in turn, is
derived from Old French, marier (to marry), and
ultimately Latin, marītāre, meaning to provide with a husband
or wife and marītāri meaning to get married.
In Islam, marriage is a legal contract
between a man and a woman. Both the groom and the bride are to consent to
the marriage of
their own free wills. ... There is also Nikah Misyar, a non-temporary marriage with the removal of
some conditions such as living together, permitted by some Sunni scholars. For
further enquiry consult or
read (Islamic marital jurisprudence · Islamic marriage
contract · Category: Marriage in Islam).
Moreover, Islam, marriage is
recognized as the basis of society. It is a contract but it is also a sacred
covenant. Marriage as an institution leads to the uplift of
man and is a means for the continuance of the human race. Most Muslims
believe marriage is a fundamental building block of
life. Marriage is a contract between a man and woman to live
together as husband and wife. ... For most Muslims the purpose of marriage is
to: keep faithful to each other for the rest of their lives, have children and
bring them up in the Muslim faith.
(www.bbc.co.uk>bitesize>guide>zcjqrws>revision)
Hinduism Marriage
Many Hindus see marriage as a life-long, sacred ceremony
that binds a man and woman together. It takes the Hindu couple into the
second ashrama and is believed by many to be the right situation in
which to have children.
Marriage is also viewed by many Hindus as the right place in
which to enjoy sexual pleasure, which is allowed as part of the life aim
of kama. Many Hindu deities are portrayed as having partners and
children:
v
Shiva and Parvati are
the parents of Lord Ganesh
v
Rama and Sita had
twins called Luv and Kush.
However, not all relationships in Hindu scriptures are
conventional; in the Mahabharata, Draupadi is married to all five Pandava
princes.
Vivah Sansksar is
the term used to describe the sacraments performed during the wedding
ceremony. This symbolises that the marriage is an important stage of life and
will mark the beginning of a life-long union.(
https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/guides/zh732sg/revision/6)
Arranged marriage
Traditionally, arranged marriages began from a
need to find husbands and wives for those living in poverty and in villages.
Travel was rare and people soon ran out of people to marry they were not
related to.
Hindu teachings forbid people marrying anyone less than
seven genetic steps removed; this means they cannot marry even distant cousins.
This is taken seriously and the first thing many Hindus check about a suitable
partner is whether they are related - even distantly. In the past, research
relied on information from travelers or visitors about people in other
villages. Sometimes, marriages would be arranged without the couple meeting
beforehand, because they couldn't afford to travel.
Another motivation was that parents wanted to create a
second family for their children, in case they died while the children were
still young. A marriage may have been arranged while the children were very
young
According to William Abraham (1987: 22): Marriage in
African tradition is the joining of two families through the union of
one man and one woman and their children, always to the exclusion of all other
men as regards the woman, and in monogamous societies, to the exclusion of all
other women as regards the man.
Traditional
marriage according to the historical norms of a given society is usually for
the primary purpose of establishing a family. Although prenuptial customs vary
in different cultures, a traditional marriage generally follows a period of
courtship, public announcement of wedding plans, and a wedding ceremony.
It
is also a marriage of husband and wife, wherein the former is the primary or
sole breadwinner and the latter holds primary or sole responsibility for
maintaining the home and managing child care.
(APA dictionary of Psychology,2020).
Marriage
can be defined as the socially approved sexual union of two or more opposite
adults and whose off springs are considered legitimate (Akpochafo, 2014).
Some common attributes of marriage
1.
Has to do with the involvement of
males and females or persons of the opposite sex who have agreed to take each
other as husband and wife;
2.
Some groups (especially the Catholic
Church) is of the view that marriage is indissoluble but others believed that
they can divorce and it is recognizable.
3.
The union allows for sexual
interaction that may or not lead to the raising of children
4.
Marriage has to do with confirmation
of certain rights and responsibilities
5.
Marriage connects together a wide range
of people by creating kinship, parents, brothers, sisters, blood relatives of
the partners and may even lead to connecting even communities, states and
countries.
6.
It gives rights to each other’s
sexuality, labour and property. To further buttress this idea it is the duty of
the couple to satisfy each other sexually and should own things in common that
is to say that what belongs the man equally belongs to the wife and vice versa.
Types of
Marriage
Marriages are of different types based on the number and
kinds of men and women involved in it, such as:
v
Polygyny: marriage
between one woman and two or more men.
Polyandry: marriage between one woman and two
or more men. The two best-known areas in which polyandry was studied and
continued to be practiced into the 21st century are the Plateau of Tibet (a
region shared by India, Nepal, and the Tibet Autonomous
Region of China) and the Marquesas Islands in the South Pacific.
v
Polygamy:
the practice or custom of having more than one wife or
husband at the same time.
v
Fraternal Polyandry:
it a marriage in which several brothers
share one wife. Example it is practiced among
Tibetans in Nepal and parts of China, in which two or more brothers are married
to the same wife, with the wife having equal "sexual access" to them.
v
Sororal Polyandry: marriage
in which many sisters shares a particular man as their husband.
v
Levirate:
marriage between a man and the widow of his elder brother
v
Sororate:
marriage between a man and the sister of his dead wife
Ghost
marriage: is
marriage with a dead person or between dead people. In Chinese tradition, a
ghost marriage is a marriage in which one or both parties are deceased. Other
forms of ghost marriage are practiced worldwide, notably in France since 1959.
The origins of Chinese ghost marriage are largely unknown, but reports of it
being practiced today can still be found. Also in South Sudan, a ghost marriage is a marriage where a deceased
groom is replaced by his brother. The brother serves as a stand in to the
bride, and any resulting children are considered children of the deceased
spouse. Under French law posthumous marriages are possible as
long as evidence exists that the deceased person had the
intention while alive of wedding their partner. ... According to Christophe
Caput, the mayor who married Jaskiewicz, her request was
"rock solid".
Child
marriage: Child Marriage is defined as a marriage of
a girl or boy before the age of 18 and refers to both formal marriages and
informal unions in which children under the age of 18 live
with a partner as if married. ... Child marriage violates children's rights
and places them at high risk of violence, exploitation, and abuse. Giving a
daughter in marriage allows parents to reduce family expenses
by ensuring they have one less person to feed, clothe and educate. Families may
also see investing in their son's education as more worthwhile investment. That
is the purpose of child marriage.
Child Marriage is defined as a marriage of a girl or boy before the age of 18 and refers to both formal marriages and informal unions in which children under the age of 18 live with a partner as if married. Child marriage affects both girls and boys, but it affects girls disproportionately, especially in South Asia.
South Asia has the highest rates of child marriage in the world. Almost half (45%) of all women aged 20-24 years reported being married before the age of 18. Almost one in five girls (17%) is married before the age of 15.
Child marriage violates children’s rights and places them at high risk of violence, exploitation, and abuse. India has the largest number of brides in the world – one-third of the global total. Bangladesh has the highest rate of child marriage in Asia (the fourth highest rate in the world). Nepal has also one the highest rates of child marriage in Asia for both boys and girls.
Child marriage is declining (63% in 1985 to 45%t in 2010) in South Asia, with the decline being especially marked for girls under 15 (32% in 1985 to 17% in 2010). The marriage of girls aged 15-18 is however still commonplace, so more efforts are needed to protect older adolescents from marriage.
Child marriage is the result of the interplay of economic and social forces. In communities where the practice is prevalent, marrying a girl as a child is part of a cluster of social norms and attitudes that reflect the low value accorded to the human rights of girls.
UNICEF’s approach to ending child marriage in South Asia recognises the complex nature of the problem, and the socio-cultural and structural factors underpinning the practice.
Solution
UNICEF’s approach to ending child marriage in South Asia recognises the complex nature of the problem, and the socio-cultural and structural factors underpinning the practice. UNICEF’s approach, therefore, envisions success in two timeframes. In the short term (5-10 years), UNICEF sees a critical mass of children, families, and communities changing their attitudes and behaviours; in the longer term (10-30 years), UNICEF sees aspirations for all children upheld by new social norms UNICEF considers five entry points to accelerate these changes:
(i) to increase agency and resources for adolescents – especially girls- at risk of and affected by child marriage;
(ii) (ii) to enhance legal and development policy frameworks for an enabling environment that protects the rights of adolescent girls and boys;
(iii) (iii) to increase the generation and use of a robust evidence base for advocacy, programming, learning and tracking progress;
(iv) (iv) to enhance systems and services that respond to the needs of adolescents at risk of or affected by child marriage; and
(v) (v) to increase social action, acceptance, and visibility around investing in and supporting girls, and shifting social expectations relating to girls, including by engaging boys and men. At the global level, child marriage is included in Goal 5 “Achieve gender equality and empower all women and girls” under Target 5.3 “Eliminate all harmful practices, such as child, early and forced marriage and female genital mutilation”.
In 2016, UNICEF and UNFPA joined forces through a Global Programme to Accelerate Action to End Child Marriage in 12 countries with the highest rates of child brides. In South Asia, it is implemented in Bangladesh, India, and Nepal. For the first time, existing strategies in areas like health, education, child protection and water and sanitation, are coming together to form a unique holistic programme with shared plans and goals. The programme will work in partnership woth governments, civil society organizations and yound people themselves and adopt methods that have proven to work at scale. (https://www.unicef.org/rosa/what-we-do/child-protection/child-marriage).
Cousin
marriage: A cousin
marriage is a marriage where the spouses are cousins (i.e.
people with common grandparents or people who share other fairly recent
ancestors). ... Worldwide, more than 10% of marriages are
between first and second cousins. Marrying within a
family can lead to abnormalities in your future offspring. This is because
within a family, certain genetic traits remain dormant and are known as
recessive genes (they are not seen as a disease or condition).
Conflict in Marriage
Conflict in marriage is inevitable. In fact, not only is
conflict in marriage inevitable, but it is also perfectly normal.
It is a part of life.
Conflicts are bound to arise in
terms of relationship in marriage. Conflict is said to be natural to human
nature. This same conflict strengthens or tightens relationship in marriage.
Clashes of interest lead to conflict. Every normal human being is bound to
encounter conflict.
Marital conflict is not just a
difference of opinion. Rather, it is a series of events that have been poorly
managed so as to deeply damage the marriage relationship. The issues of
marriage have festered to the point that stubbornness, pride, anger, hurt and
bitterness prevent effective marriage communication.
Researchers also have identified several major sources
of conflict, i.e., violent behaviors of husbands, lack of
cooperation in the family, inability to spend enough time together, issues
related to children and other families, lack of effective communication, and
financial problems.
We
have various common problems in marriage such as:
v Communication gap: Most families complain about the way the
spouse treat each other when it comes to communication. Bearing grudges can
only lead to worsening the situation. Most men and women are complicated some
refuse to bare their mind to the extent that they use silence measure to suffer
each other. Lack of communication has caused one partner losing his or her life
when in need of the other is urgently needed. Some persons with critical
ailment need not to run out of communication, dialogue is the only solution for
a happy family.
v Ignominy: Every human
being wants to be respected and be treated with high regard. No one enjoys
shunning down or disgraced. Showing I don’t care attitude is a big problem in
modern day marriage. More especially when the two have a mouth watering job. In
this case nobody cares. Caring is the most important thing in marriage. The
scripture says wife, be submissive to your husband and husband love your wife
(Ephesians 5: 22 - 33). It's not uncommon for one spouse to try
to change his or her partner but it should be handled with love and care.
Lack of Sexual Intimacy and satisfaction: a lot of reasons couples lose interest in sex ranging
from medical problems to emotional issues. Generally, sexual problems
trigger a vicious cycle where it’s difficult to want sex when you feel
emotionally distant from your partner and it’s difficult to feel emotionally
attached without experiencing sexual intimacy. To get past sexual
indifference, couples need to discuss and resolve their emotional issues.
v Emotional or Sexual Infidelity
v Fighting
About Money
v Selfishness
v Value Differences
v Different Life Stages.
(https://collaborativedivorcetexas.com/ten-common-problems-marriage/)
No comments:
Post a Comment
add